Not The Mama!

babyThis is just a little gripe I’ve had for a while yet. Pay no attention if it gets too worded or gripe y, I don’t mind! However, I must express this otherwise I’m going to implode! >_<

I’m not the “girly” type so much, according to societal rules. I don’t wear ANY make-up (ugh, it’s gross!), I don’t like wearing skirts or dresses (my legs are cold and I feel naked!), I’m not into fashion trends, owning many pairs of shoes, or fawning over handbags. I’ve own a few pieces of cheap jewelry, but never really cared to wear it.

I am a little “girly”, as I DO love nice hairstyles and my trips to the salon monthly (I don’t know how to style my own hair!), I do scream like a little girl whenever a critter bounces across my path (Eep! Kill it with fire, before it lays eggs!), and I turn into mush over any kitten or cat. I just want to hug them all, but I can’t hug every cat.  However, that’s the extent of my girly-ness  ^w^

As for the “boyish” things that society deems: I love video games and was once a very avid gamer (not so much these days, as writing takes over!). On any given good day, I prefer action movies, “dude” movies, horror and crime thrillers. I only watch rom-coms when I’m feeling sad. I love anime and manga that are marketed towards the young male adult audience (a genre called “Seinen”). I like  superheroes, sci-fi and actual science, and other nerdy stuff.  Ni!

I’m not a huge fan of pop music (unless it’s K-pop or J-pop), as I prefer heavy metal or the old bands like AC/DC. I’m crazy about the band  U2. Dubstep and EDM are my recent love affairs. Boy bands make my skin crawl and not in a good way! I did enjoy them as a teen, but quickly grew out of them. Sorry, Beliebers and One Direction fan-girls, I mean no offense… but, UGH!!! @_@

I don’t prefer to watch my figure and order a salad. That’s rabbit food! Give me a steak, or grilled burger, fries, and nachos with cheese! I am not a princess, I’m a knight of King Arthur’s court. Hand me a sword and I’ll join the fight on the battlefield! Hurrah! For Frodo!!!! ^o^/

This fact pained my mother so much, as she wanted a girly-girl and forced me to wear pink and fluffy dresses when I was little. I retaliated by playing in the mud in my dresses at every gathering. And to add insult to injury, I collected earthworms to hold them up for the guests with “See? Aren’t they cool?” Ah… I was such a little rebel.

ababy2So… it was a lot annoying to grow up in Philadelphia, where most women aspired to have children. Teen pregnancy and unwed mothers are very common in that city. Almost every one of my peers in high-school had children, which is where I got the babysitting jobs all the time. However, my sister and myself were seen as aliens, because we didn’t have any children.

Every doctor I went to for check-ups and other health reasons would interrogate me on my status of having children. “You don’t have any children?” they would ask, with bewildered looks. “No.” I would answer. “Never a pregnancy?” they would ask, “Not even a miscarriage?” “No, never.” I would answer. “Oh…” one female doctor sighed, “I get it… you haven’t met someone yet.” “Yes, I’ve dated plenty.” I shrugged, “I just didn’t try to become pregnant with them.” “Really?” she asked, in so much awe.

They would pause in their interrogation, scribble things in their charts, and and then ask again, “Are you sure that you never had any children?” Oh, for goodness sake!!! Fine, yes… I have children, I’m hiding them in my shoe! What do you want from me!? I said NO! >_<

Call me old fashioned, but I wanted to wait until I was married to someone first. I wanted to be in an established relationship with a special someone, before ever considering bringing a new life into the world. All of my peers dealt with “baby mama” or “baby daddy” issues. I got to see their struggles first hand, of young people “playing house”, with the children caught in the middle of it. I didn’t have to experience that for myself in order to know it wasn’t what I wanted.

I do love children, as they’re the most wise beings on the planet, more clever than any of us adults. I like the idea of bringing a new life into the world and having that experience. However, I’m not stupid, I know that having children is a VERY serious idea. I rather be able to say to my future child, “I bought you here, because I really wanted you. I needed you in my life. And I’m so happy to have met you!” I don’t want to say, “I birthed you, because that’s what people are suppose to do. It was my duty as a woman and wife.” u_u

Also, children are independent human beings, not just accessories to have and show off to people. They require a LOT of care and sacrifice on the parents’ behalf. I’ve experienced staying up with crying infants who suffered with diaper rashes, ear infections, and colic. Even when a baby do not suffer with these childhood illnesses, they do tend to put a great damper on sleep anyway.

I’ve babysat a few infants for a full week (day and night), as their young mothers needed a break. It was HELL! Who knew that such a tiny being could make so much noise, poop and puke so much! Ahh! My favorite part was when the parents came to collect their child and I was free to get some sleep… finally!

If I ever have a child, I know what to expect. I would have to say goodbye to sleep or any plans of writing, for starters. So… I’m not in a rush to go out and make a baby of my own.

EdAlNina_BackupAnd… although child birth is consider a very “beautiful” thing, it’s REALLY gross and painful. It’s pushing a melon-sized being out through a tiny hole and tearing certain orifices! Lots of blood, mucus, and poop (yes, sometimes the mother poops while giving birth) everywhere! I’ve seen the horror film, erm… I mean “beautiful birthing documentary”. Yeah… I’ll pass on that for a while yet. ;^_^>

I know that my biological clock is running out, but I don’t mind if I am unable to have children someday. Not in the least. First of all, my eye condition and other health issues have a HUGE chance of being passed onto any child that I may have. That doesn’t seem fair to give away that burden. Second of all, I’m still “growing up” myself right now. I could always adopt later, as there are so many abandoned children who need homes.

My real gripe is that I hate well meaning comments that say, “A woman’s purpose is to have children. We men can’t do it, so it’s a very valuable contribution to society that only a woman could do.” Hey!!! That’s just rude! What about the women who don’t chose to have children or unable to? Hmm? I believe that every person has something to contribute to society and it doesn’t necessarily boil down to birthing more humans to add to the  already overpopulated world.

Now I feel better for voicing that. Thanks for reading. ^_^

-D

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