This is something that I preach often to my friends, whenever they get so caught up in being “perfect” in their life endeavors. I’m very sure that I get on their nerves, as I bark my idea at them until I’m blue in the mouth! Oops. ;^_^>
I can’t stand to see my friends in mental pain, agonizing over every little detail of their plots, and becoming so anxious that they began to fall apart emotionally. Especially, when there’s no real reason to do so. It’s okay to gain the grade “B” on your test in university, it means that you’ve passed, it doesn’t mean that you’re somehow inferior because it wasn’t an “A+”.
If it’s not going to affect your GPA and you will still earn that degree, then being “perfect” is irrelevant. I hardly think that an employer is going to read over exam scores and say, “Hmm… you got a B on that one quiz, so no… I don’t think I’ll hire you!” I’m just saying. >_>
It’s not just universities, but I’ve noticed that my peers often worry too much about the idea of being “perfect”; within their looks, attitude, relationships, eating habits, weight, and so on. I have learned that the concept doesn’t actually exist, not in reality nor in nature. Perfection is a very fantasy concept overall. At least, that’s what I personally believe.
It reminds me of an Alan Watts lecture (see video: here), we all seem to be placed in a terrible system of wanting “the perfect life”, sometimes referred to as “The American Dream” in the US. This translates into: a series of high education, impressive diplomas, a high class career, a few fancy vehicles, the huge house with a white picket fence, the perfect spouse, 2.3 children, a dog, a cat, and a fishbowl. Whew… ;u_u
What really happens in reality is that most people strive for this “perfect” package and wind up with a partial of it, They may have the impressive education, diplomas, and career. However, someone neglected to tell them that because a person has to focus all of their energies into their education and career, there’s very little time for socialization or romance. That huge house with the picket fence may seem a tad empty.
Or if a person does manage to find someone, they will have to deal with the resentment of their spouse and children, for the lack of time they have to spend with them, while pursing education and keeping top careers. Rarely do the two work out “perfectly” together. There are issues that come along with that package, I’ve observed.
Then I’ve noticed that most people go for the family part of the “perfection” package first, finding true love and having children, working careers that aren’t the top-shelf ones to gain that huge house and the few cars that they struggle to pay for. They often struggle to find the time between raising children and paying their bills, with not much focus to spare in pursing top education and careers.
I haven’t met a person yet who was able to “have it all”, without any issues or struggles, and that everything is “perfect”. There are the lucky few who do pull off a tightrope balance of having the education, grand career, family life, etc. However, I’ve noticed that either “existential crisis” or mid-life crisis crops up for them, as they had very little time to pursue things concerning their own passions. Life is a musical thing and we are suppose to sing or dance along with it. Otherwise, a person could miss everything in life.
So, I don’t believe in perfection at all, I’ve learned that it doesn’t exist. When I was younger, I did buy into that whole “perfection” idea, I wanted the house, the 2.3 perfect children, the impressive career, and the perfect spouse that never did or said anything wrong. I did earn the cat, dog, and fishbowl part though! However, I freaked out over grades, over career choices, over money status, always worried about “the future”!
I worried so much that I couldn’t focus on the “now” or the people I had limited time with. I didn’t sing or dance in that time of my life, I worked all the time, trying to win some perfect prize, missing out on what life is really about. I had my existential crisis in my mid-twenties, although I wish it was a bit sooner! Better late than later, I guess. :-P
I sometimes use the word “perfect” to describe something, but what I really mean is “brilliant” and that I do like something very much. The word and idea itself has become a figure of speech to me. That’s NOT to say that people shouldn’t believe in perfection if they want to, this is just my personal view and experience of this subject.
I’m also not saying that I believe that people shouldn’t have goals in life, to have educations, to strive to gain something “perfect” in their lives. Not at all. What I nudge my friends about is that they shouldn’t fall apart if they gain a “B” in their grade of life. Their world won’t explode and they won’t go flying out into orbit. It’s okay! BREATH! ^_^
Life is about being happy within it, for as long as you get to keep your life, and experiencing love from another as well as being able to return that love to others. It’s not about having the “perfect” picture of what society deems as “the dream”. It’s about what YOU want and what you wish in your life in order to be happy. Or so, that’s what I believe for myself, anyway.
I’ve long let go of the idea of chasing perfection and I feel free. I feel contentment. I feel happy, most of the time, as happiness is never “perfection” nor a constant. I strive to be happy in life more times than I am sad because it’s more realistic, as sadness is a part of life regardless, no matter how “perfect” a situation may seem to be. I’ll keep moving forward to find more happiness and to explore new philosophies.
Thanks for reading! ^_^