It’s painfully obvious to anyone I communicate with, that I am an obsessive writer in general. My emails and Facebook messages tend to be short stories more than anything else. Somehow, I’m unable to communicate online with simple one liners or a short response of, “Yeah, I think that’s cool as well”. I find myself writing a short essay on why I feel this way or that about some topic or why Doctor Who is such an awesome show.
Thankfully, my friends don’t mind it and find my email replies a lot entertaining. However, sometimes I do worry that I respond too much, especially when there’s a hot topic of politics or social ills involved, and I can go on for several paragraphs in a passionate rant of what I believe and feel on the subject. ;^_^>
I’m practically a “mute” in person (unless science or social issues are the topic, then I fall into long rants), so I think the real reason I lose myself in emails, texts, blogs, and messenger, is because the text field reminds me of my usual text document screen where I spend hours writing novels. It seems so natural for me to write an essay in a text field instead of expressing simply, “Yes, I do like that show too.” and leaving it at that.
Anyway, my therapist was going over some possible hobbies to set for myself a few weeks ago, and I became a lot awkward when she suggested that I should try to find a craft to do. I responded instantly with a surprised tone, “My writing is my craft!”. She sighed, “Yes, I know. But, maybe you can try other things… like painting or drawing.” I looked at her as if she had sprouted two heads! o_O
I’ve painted and drawn things before, mostly anime, but I was never any good at it. It was fun and I’m not booing the experience, however I rather write with my free time, as that feels more “productive” to me. And it’s a hundred times more fun to write. What can I say, I have a real passion for writing, it’s my entire world!
I understand where my therapist is coming from, trying to get me to stop eating “the sweets” and to add more “vegetables” to my diet. Although, whenever I do put writing to the side for arts and crafts, the only thing I want to do is rush through that project in order to get back to writing.
Why do I love writing so much? I think it’s highly connected to my childhood. I was raised in harsh situations, in which I didn’t have any control of, and felt a lot helpless in. When I first discovered writing at age nine, I had gained something that I could control for once. I had power over the characters, the situations they would face, and the environments that they were placed in.
I enjoy writing highly complex and unique personalities, building my own matrix of a plot, and resting on a final outcome for these imagined people and their world. And my stories seem to be entertaining enough for the people who get to read them, which is pretty cool. I like entertaining others! ^_^v
On average, I have the ability to write 8,000 words per week, which means a 90,000 word novel is completed in its first rough draft in a short amount of time. This doesn’t include the weeks spent in editing the whole thing, however I’m told by “professional writers” (whom haven’t been picked up by a publishing house either) that my speed is a very BAD thing. They believe that it should take me a couple of years or so to complete a good novel.
I don’t know if my novels are “good” or “Twilight” level (worse than good, in my honest opinion), I could just be a writing hack, but spending two years on a novel seems too constricting to me. I want to write, dammit, and I’m way too impatient to write only 125 words per day. That’s a short email on a day I don’t have much to express or I’m suffering with the flu. Hell, even my blogs tend to run at least 1150 words on average, and I don’t write them seriously. ;>_>
I also seem to break the rule, when I choose to listen to music when I write. I’m told by other writers that doing so is a big no-no. However, I can’t concentrate without some tunes running in the background of my mind. Granted, I do not EVER listen to my U2 playlist, because I get overly distracted and began singing along with every song, because they frickin’ ROCK!
However, I do have many other playlist that I listen to on my PC iTunes player, and each playlist is appropriate for every tone of story I choose to work on. I edit my books with works of Frederic Francois Chopin, not to be pretentious or anything. I just REALLY love his masterpieces and his fun waltzes makes it easier for me to deal with the very boring part of editing the mess that I call a manuscript. Which bring me to my final anecdote…
People do wonder, “If you have so many manuscripts, how come you’ve only published one book?” Well, the honest answer is that I don’t have any editors, as I haven’t yet successfully gained the attention of any publishing house. Although, I do try… like crazy. My first book, True Shadows, was self-published, meaning that I had to do all of the advertising, book art, and copyrights myself.
The editing had to be done by myself, my sister, and best friend. And I’m pretty sure that my first book is still riddled with errors, as none of us are editors by trade. And I can’t afford professional editing. I have two completed novels, one short story, and a five book teen series in waiting that I feel confident of sharing with the world someday. I suspect the number of want-to-share manuscripts will only grow with time.
The other 60 manuscripts I’ve written over my lifetime are experiments that I don’t feel too confident of ever sharing! Including a steamy series that would make “50 Shades Of Gray” blush… I serious need to destroy those manuscripts! O_O
I know that someday I may just say “screw it” and self-publish again with novice editing, but for right now I’m holding out for a publishing house to notice me. Please notice me, senpai! TnT
I guess, everyone has a passion or dream, or they should. Writing is my passion, my obsession, my love affair, and my art. And I can relate very well to this song: Watsky- Moral of the Story – “I put in hour after hour, let’s be crystal clear. I’m gonna get there, if it takes a day or fifty years!”. I need to go now and return to my other writing. Back to work! ^o^/
Thanks for reading!