Actually, I’m on several quests at the moment: to finish a young adult novel series (I’m nearly done with book one), to demand and gain my soft contacts (for my Keratoconus), and to finish any one of the video games I’ve started! Seriously… I have Portal 2, Okami, Resident Evil 6, and The Sims on hold and incomplete! O_O
However, my main quest is the namesake of this very blog, I’m on a quest for more happiness in my life. The reason why I created this space was not to find sadness and misery, I have enough of that already from my past and sometimes in my present, but I wanted to encourage myself to be happy.
A lot of what I write, I do share with readers because after all this is a public forum. If I wanted it to be private, I’d set this one to “private” and block Google from listing it, it only takes two clicks to do in options. I know this, because I do have two private blogs already.
However, this blog and its posts was created for two purposes: to be a hub for huge reminders to myself. If I forget anything or need some encouragement, I only need to open this blog in my browser. And two, I hoped that my scribbles could serve as inspiration or entertainment for my friends and family. Hi, mom! ^o^/
I’d say that 90% of my life was sadness and misery, I experienced such tragedy and loss a bit more than most people ever get to in such a short time period of life. And now that I’m in my 30’s, I believe it’s time for me to experience more happiness and good things in life, not misery.
That’s not to say that life doesn’t have it’s ups and downs, sometimes life can really SUCK, and I know just how deep that rabbit hole goes on a very serious level. That’s why I have two categories to my blog “sadness” and “stuff”… which the second one is code for “sh$t happens!”. However, you won’t find a lot of sad posts or too many tragic gripes on this blog, because I don’t try to dwell on the negative.
It solves nothing for me to dwell and only lulls me into a pity party that never ends. Just like that annoying “Lamb Chop” song… “This is the song that never ends. Yes, it goes on and on, my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was! And they’ll continue singing it, forever just because… This is the song that never ends!” Kill me now! u_u
I much rather talk things out with my friends, family, and therapist, than to vent out the really deep and overly negative things in my personal life on a very public blog to strangers. This is not a judgement to those who do so, especially those who suffer with depression! I’m only stating my personal way of coping with situations. And for those suffering with depression, I wish the utmost best for you. Hugs! ^_^
Meanwhile, I’m on a strict diet of not hanging around people who wish to be miserable or negative on purpose. It doesn’t matter if I like a person because, at this point in my life, I want more for myself than to be dragged into other people’s created drama. I finally believe that I am worth something more than that and I have the right not to be burden by people who purposely seek sadness, death, chaos, and mayhem in their lives.
That’s not to say that I will not be a support to my friends, especially those who aren’t purposely seeking drama and have real issues they’re battling with. I’ll always be a support to them and my shoulder is there for them any time they need it! However, for anyone else, I’ve adopted the old saying of “Not my circus, not my monkeys.”. Sorry, I don’t see pain as a fun game and I decline playing it just for the sake of.
Sometimes I feel a little mean about this new attitude, but then I come to my senses again. I’m wise enough to know that my time in this life is limited and I don’t want to waste it with being depressed (or adding more depression on top of what’s already there) and becoming misery’s best friend. I refused to be buried under, either from my own issues or the issues of others.
I work really hard to dispel my own drama within my past. I go to therapy and work ferociously to chip away my issues. I work hard to fight my own battles and drama in daily life. And I don’t want my hard work to go for naught, in order to feed into dramas created or encouraged by some people. I don’t care if someone doesn’t like my stance or not. I’m on a serious quest and I’m not going to let anyone stop me from experiencing my happiness. Not anymore! I deserve to be happy!
Everyone deserves to be happy, if they want to. ^_^
Anyway, that’s all I feel like sharing today. As always, thanks for reading!