I’m Bored!

kana-and-chiaki-very-boredYes, I’ve heard all of the catchy slogans against boredom, more than once or twice during my entire life. If I express boredom, I’ve gotten the rude reply of, “If you’re bored then you’re boring.” Or it’s been suggested that I am lazy and not exercising my brain enough. Both ideas are FALSE, or so I believe. >_>

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always been one to live within my head, always in a contemplative state. My mind seems to move like an unending freeway, it’s always busy and crowded, with too many thoughts racing through it constantly. I believe it’s the reason why I do get bored a lot and often seek stimulation.

Online, it’s pretty clear that my mind and words are always ticking on and on,  with nonstop chatter and rambling within everything I write, from blogs to private messages. I TALK TOO MUCH. Although, I’m doing too much at the same time, writing, researching, watching, observing, trying out new ideas, exploring, and so on.

Offline, people only see a quiet (and basically mute), reserved and disturbingly absent person. I don’t speak as much as I write nor become as animated as I do within my writings, unless I feel comfortable enough around that person. Or if they hit on the key topics that seem to bring me to life (science, politics, religion, various social views… all the things to avoid if I don’t want to wage war with new people I’ve met).

bored-anime-galHonestly, in person, I tend to give off the aura that I don’t like people (when I do), because I am quiet and will politely answer in short “yes” or “no” replies. I am silent around them for a long time and I don’t engage in small talk too well. I try, but then I curl up within my thoughts once again.

What the people offline do not realize, is that my brain is going a thousand miles per minute constantly. And it’s hard to distract me from it, with chats about mundane things, even though I am listening and making mental notes of what they’re conveying to me. If I am quizzed, I can recall, “Yes, I’ve heard you. Your sister in law wore a horrible purple dress at the party. It made her look like a huge purple cow and you didn’t like her ugly black pumps either. They were SO last year.” Whatever… boring! >_>

Meanwhile, while a person is rattling off boring gossip, I’m busy composing a new novel in my mind, or contemplating the origin of the universe, or trying to figure out some solution to a social ill plaguing a group of people in the world.

However, thoughts are just thoughts, it doesn’t mean anything unless I’m actively doing some action in relation to them. And without the action part,  that’s where I experience boredom! o_O

On any given day, I’m using my laptop with at least six tabs open on my browser and one or two programs open on my desktop. The tabs are usually information I’m researching, maybe a song on youtube to keep me company, and my email inbox in order to keep a watchful eye for any friends or relative trying to contact me.  The programs are usually my filing system and a word program to collect all of that data I’m researching or making use of.

anime_multitaskOn a good non-boring day, I’m switching through tabs, writing so much that my hands hurt,  my eyes began to lose focus, and my brain is being filled with a wealth of new knowledge. I find this a lot entertaining. When I am not bored, I seem to sleep four or five hours at night, having a burst of energy and eager to continue with my projects, whether they are writing or learning something new.

And on those days, I feel like I don’t have enough time within a day to do everything I want to do, which can be frustrating! I have to force myself to sleep, not wanting to, and finding the basic human function to be a huge inconvenience because I have stuff to do! \>_</

On a boring day, I have only two tabs open and maybe my playlist. These are the days when I’m not writing something or one of my blogs become “finished”, which is the moment where I feel like I have nothing more to add to it and the work of art is completed.

The one tab may be something new that I’m trying to learn in math, science, or language, but it doesn’t seem to stimulate me enough on its own. That’s when I began to waste a lot of time on Netflix, watching a series of documentaries of silly B-movies, because I’m SO bored and have nothing better to do!

I tend to sleep a lot during this time, sleeping for ten to eighteen hours. I had this same issue, when I was in public schools during my entire young academic years, (grades K-high school), where I would fall asleep in class. I did finish my assignments and exams quickly and earn my A+ for the day, but then I would become so very bored and fall asleep at my desk.

The teachers would complain, even though I was a straight A student and always on the honor roll. Why couldn’t they see that the work was too easy for me and I was bored! >_>

headphones-laptops_00400686And for this very reason, this is why I create a new blog during my prolonged moments of boredom. I have 14 blogs on WordPress and I’m only active within one (this one).

If I was not bored, during the time I created my first one (The Rainpuddle) in June 16, 2010, it would have never came into existence. None of my blogs would have been created, to be honest.

I may “finish” this blog someday too and not return to it, as I’ve done with the others. However, the moment I get bored again, a new WordPress blog will be born. Writing/blogging is my drug of choice and my way of stimulating my mind.  No matter what else I try to do, I always return back to it again, one way or another. ^_^

I’m addicted to coffee too, because it helps my body to keep up with the fast paced rhythm of my mind. My medical doctors are not happy with this, as I suffer with a mild heart condition (Very mild! It’s not really a problem at all!), but without coffee I am frustrated with the speed of my fingers in tandem to my thoughts.

I do compromise, as I don’t drink coffee every day, and when I do enjoy coffee, I limit it to one cup. One very large cup, but let’s not split hairs! My heart is not in any danger and the worry is  about “what could happen”, but hasn’t happened at all. I’m annoyed that my doctors have listed on my chart, “allergic to caffeine”, which isn’t true! It’s a good thing that coffee shops don’t check my medical records before serving me a cup. =p

Thanks for reading my bored ramblings!



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