Writing Addiction?

Anime-Girl-Japanese-Calligraphy-Shodo-WallpaperThis is something that has been on my mind for a while… Are all addictions bad ones? I grew up around terrible drug and alcohol addicts, so I do know that certain addictions are REALLY bad and painful, not just for the person who’s addicted but for those around them . I’m not questioning that for a second! Yes, that kind of addiction is bad… BAD! u_u

What I wonder about are other kinds of addictions. For example, some fans are crazy about collecting items of their favorite shows or books. They will stand in long lines for hours in a night for a store to open, so that they may purchase said item. Sometimes, that person may even camp outside that store, desperate to get that item for their collection.

Some fans obsess over their favorite books, movies, characters, and so on, to the point that they’re addicted to this particular media. I don’t see this as harmful, unless the person skips work or spend the money they should have used for bills on that collection..

Maybe the definition of addiction is when it becomes an obsession that affects the quality of someone’s life. For example, bills are unpaid, they become thieves in order to support their habit, they gain broken relationships because of their habit, loss of health, or loss of a job. Or maybe that’s an overly simplified definition of what addiction means. I honestly don’t know. o_O

The reason why I’m mauling over the definition of addiction, is because I have a strong obsession to writing. Seriously, I can’t stop and every time I do take a break from it, I feel uneasy, anxious, disturbed, and utterly lost until I start up again.

The most I’ve  stopped writing was for an entire month, when I first moved to Minnesota and my laptop decided to die on me. Yes, I remember the nightmare well…

I had switched to my Kindle Fire for that month, in order to keep in contact with my friends on Facebook and emails. I was able to do my usual Youtube marathons (another addiction on its own), keep up with my science learning, listen to music, watch movies, and play video games as I’ve always done with my laptop. The only thing that was missing was the ability to write my novels.

I tried searching for a good writing program for my Kindle and came up with programs that were so basic that it made the “notepad” program on any PC seem like a fancy one with too many features.

Death_Note_KiraLaughThe other problem is that all touch-screen keyboards are a tool created by the devil and it was hard enough to finish my email replies to friends without auto-correct making sure to change a word that took many minutes to actually type out on screen. “Help?” Auto-correct replied, “No, I’m changing it to ‘ham’! Trolololo!” >_>

I know the keyboard on my laptop very well, like the back of my hand. I rarely look at it to type (unless I’m entering numbers… I don’t know my number pad too well) and my fingers tend to move as quickly as my thoughts do.

I’ve often continued writing a sentence of a story, when my sister asks a question, while facing her and giving her an answer simultaneously. I know my keyboard by instinct and memory, that’s probably why I can write novels in such a short span of time. And it’s probably why I can still write, even though my vision is so very poor in general.

Just give me a good word program like “Open Office” and I’ll daydream a story while mindlessly typing out those thoughts on screen in real time. Writing gives me a “high” and when I type the last line of a 90,000 or more word document, there is a sense of great satisfaction within me.

When my laptop died and I was unable to get a replacement for an entire month, the Kindle was a poor substitute and didn’t soothe my addiction. The first week, I tried to be brave and enjoy what I did have, but then I began to slip into deep depression.

I stayed in bed and slept away my days, I hardly ate or bathed, and I cried a lot. I became highly uninterested in Youtube, video games, science, and everything else. I withdrew from everyone. u_u

anime-girl-65When I got my new laptop (a used replacement of my old one) and my harddrive was transferred over, the first thing I did was blog and then fall into writing a teen series. I completely scrapped that project after a month of it, because it wasn’t very good, but I enjoyed the fact of being able to write once again! I went on to write better novels and to create this blog.

As a writer, I do wish to gain acknowledgement for my works of expression someday, however it doesn’t seem to matter to me if it never happens. I write because I’m addicted to it. You’re actually reading the remnants of a woman who’s gaining her next “hit” within her long standing addiction to writing. o_O

So again, I am wondering if this is a bad thing, a good thing, or something more complicated and in-between. So far, my earlier guess to a definition of addiction does not apply to mine: I’m not neglecting my bills for writing accessories, I’m not losing relationships over my habit, I’m not stealing from others in order to support my habit, my health or eye disease is unrelated to my writing, and it’s not affecting my loved ones in any negative way.

In fact, my friends and family are my captive audience, waiting for new blog posts or works of fiction, which is awesome. I am encouraged to write more, if anything else.

Maybe I’m what they call a “functional addict”, which are people who can are drug addicted or alcoholics, yet keep a job and pay their bills all the same. Those addicts are still dealing with something bad and harmful to their lives, but they function well enough to not be detected by coworkers or law enforcement.

anime girl sleeping on deskHowever, if I am honest, there have been times when I didn’t bathe, sleep, or eat because I was so locked into a story plot and just couldn’t leave my characters in peril until I’ve finished “just one more chapter!”. My sister had to nudge me to eat something a few times, as I would completely forget to do so, while engrossed in my writing.

It doesn’t happen often and I try my best not to lose myself often, in spite of what Eminem says. Although, I am a little annoyed with myself when I announce “I’m taking a writing break!” and it only lasts for a week at the most. I’m good with abandoning my blogs for months or years at a time, but I do so to write novels instead. Hmm…

Maybe I’m thinking too deeply about this, but it is something that I am thinking of all the same. I’m not overly worried about it, I’m just sharing for the sake of writing about it. And I experience a high whenever I end my posts as well. Like…. now! *_*

Thanks for reading! ^_^v



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