Category Archives: Hello

Updates and things.

My Definition Of Happiness

Picture: Space GirlWoah… wait, wow! o_o

It’s been a long while since I’ve last written a post on this old blog.  The WordPress editor has changed drastically and… hang on, I’m trying to figure out what buttons work for what on this new ship. *Beep-boop! Kabump!* Ah, that sounded like a small explosion somewhere… I probably shouldn’t press that button again. o_O

So… Hello, dear readers! ^o^/
If there is anyone around that still reads my random ramblings anymore, that is. Heehee!

Since I’ve been getting what I suspect are spam signups for my blog lately (a lot of emails from Outlook… does anyone really use Outlook for email anymore? That’s like still using AOL in this day and age. I apologize, if you still use either service…), I decided to give one last post to top it off for prosperity sake. ^_^

The reason why I haven’t been blogging lately is that I have found happiness in my life. True, stable, and awesome happiness in my life. Right here in Minnesota! Yes, it’s cold, we have snow blizzards in April, Summer last for a second and Autumn is non-existent, HOWEVER, the hearts and spirits are warm here – loving, selfless, giving, progressive, and kind. I finally found my true community and family, here in this awesome state! Huzzah! ^o^/

Most days I am happy, content, and excited about facing each new day. It’s not perfect, as nothing in this world ever is, but I’m in a place that I can truly call home. I’m well beloved and cared for in Minnesota, I’m free to be my absolute self and people like me for it! I mean, they REALLY like me. And I really like them in return.

So, to recap since my last political post – leaving the politics aside, of course… I had mentioned my health goals and I have some good updates: I’ve been smoke-free for over a year now. And I have changed my diet, started a workout routine, and have lost in total thirty-seven lbs. I plan to lose a bit more and continue my new healthy diet for life. For the first time this year, I treated myself to a new pair of skinny jeans!

My friendships are going well now, as I learned how to set boundaries (aka: how not to be a doormat to others) and had gained a better perspective about the kinds of people I will allow into my life or not. I realized that I HAVE THE POWER (He-man!) to choose who gets to stay in my social circle or not, and I have the ability to change my mind at any given time.

So, I tend to choose those who are not of constant negative attitude or drama-queens, and I align with those who are similar to my own values and ideas, with a healthy space for those around me to be their unique selves and celebrate our differences together. In plain terms – I don’t care if you’re a Diet Coke fan more so than a Pepsi fan, come on in out of the cold and let’s be friends!

I DO care if your attitude is to exploit the weak or to do harm to others for your own selfish gains or agendas – GTFO and freeze to death in the Minnesota snow! >_>

My definition of happiness has taken on a new form, so I will share what I’ve concluded on this possibly last blog post. Possibly. Or at least for a very long while, as I have a happy life to return back to and LIVE. ^w^

This is just my personal definition of the term “happiness”, it may be different for different people. Humans are very complex in that way, what is happiness for one person may be a total nightmare for another. This is why I believe setting an authoritarian-like standard for what happiness should be for a grand number of people is a highly flawed idea and a crime against humanity in general.

However, that’s a rant/debate for some other time. ^_^

Happiness is not static nor something that can be captured and held in place forever. Emotions ebb and flow like an ocean. As a human, I will experience the many different tides of emotions in my lifetime: Sadness, loss, despair, doubt, fear, anger, contemplation, hopefulness, amusement, acceptance, contentment, and so on.

For me, happiness is about experiencing more of the positive than the negative in any given day, week, month, or year.

I’m happy to report that I’ve felt positivity for the majority of this past year of 2018. Most days, I’m content and living my life to the fullest, within a loving community of awesome friends, family, and neighbors. I’ve joined in the efforts to fight world suck and to help others, through charity events or to help spread the word about important human events to that end.

My quest has changed from seeking happiness to fighting to make the world a better place for myself, my community, and for many others far away from Minnesota.

At the end of the day, I rest knowing that I’ve spent my time wisely and is excited about what more I will experience on the following day. I have my sad moments, but it lasts only for a day before I find my “positive mental attitude” once again and I’m back on track to living my happy life and advocating for others.

I write my fiction novels, as usual, gaining such a fiery delight in spending hours on completing manuscripts. Currently, I’ve fallen into writing women’s erotica, and I happen to be very good at it. I enjoy sharing my writings with my friends, gaining valuable feedback and I hope to publish someday soon.

As for my other passions, I enjoy spending hours as a “Professional Smart-arse”, trading witty jokes of high sarcasm and satire with my friends, while incorporating that humor into my novels as well.

I live in a very safe community, in a quiet little house, with my sister and one awesome roommate, a little dog named Apollo, and a cat named Bubbles. In my household, there’s no drama or upsets, no screaming or fighting during the day or nights, and we pretty much all get along and is respectful of each other.

However, high-pitched squeals over new awesome movies, music, or an event coming to town IS allowed – and happen often. ^_^

Our home is often the hub of Queer Pride as well, with a stance that everyone should be free to love who they love. Period. We don’t engage in negative put-downs or harmful criticisms (about weight, appearances, or anything of that nature) and such negativity isn’t allowed to enter our home! Not at all. Home is a place to relax and not put on a beauty pageant nor to attempt to gain self-esteem by putting someone else down.

However, gay-pride celebrations and pageants are a go! Paaaaaaartay! ^o^/

Happiness is learning how to love and accept myself, to appreciate the good and the shortcomings that make me Dani. I’m 37 years old, but I don’t shy away from expressing myself honestly, not only in words but in my own personal fashion style. My hair is currently the color royal blue, burgundy, a hint of blonde, and dark brown, with a side-haircut.

I receive compliments on my hair all of the time, but I wear it this way because it’s SO Dani – It’s me.  I dare to be myself with no apologies and without any fucks to give.

So, in conclusion, happiness to me is building a nice environment and social circle of awesome people, being my honest self, protecting and standing up for myself, fighting against world suck, and practicing positive mental attitude.

I have found happiness, you guys, so my quest is complete. This blog is done, for now, I think. My happiness may not last forever and I am fully aware that it will not always be constant, but if I lose it, I know what to do to find it again. And I’m not alone, I have others who will take up torches and help me search for it as well.

Picture: Blue-haired Girl Underwater.

Song for today: Nexeri – Ocean (ft. Yvette Adams)

Thank you for spending so many years with me, dear readers. I wish you all the best and DFTBA – Don’t forget to be awesome! ^o^/

-D

Advertisements

Life Is An Adventure!

Picture: Blue haired anime girl.Hello, my wonderful readers! ^o^/

Yes, I’m still very much alive and happy. For now, at least, before my country gets wiped off the map by a nuclear blast from Korea or Russia! Hooray!

I’m kidding. It’s just a joke. Maybe. Hopefully… o_o

Anyhoo, I realized that I haven’t left a post here for two whole months and I happen to have a rambling thought on my mind, so… Don’t worry, it’s not political but life stuff. ^_^

I’ve realized that people are a bit confused about my interests in life. I love to study physics with the wish of becoming a scientist someday. I love to write novels with the wish of becoming a great writer someday. I’m currently writing a script and coding for an app game, with excellent input from my best friend, and the wish of becoming a great video game developer someday.

And so people often wonder, “Which is it, Dani? Do you want to be a scientist, a writer, or a video game developer?” My honest answer is, “All of the above. Or just one. Or a combination of two. We shall see!” ^_^

Oh, please don’t be surprised if “music artist” (mixing dubstep) or “juggler” wind up in the list in the future. I shall explain my madness…

I’ve decided that I will honestly follow my interests in life and see how far they will take me. I’m highly driven in writing, video games, and science. These are the big three in my life. I’ve had a passion for them, ever since I was a little girl, and I have some talent in each.

I’ve decided that life is an adventure, it’s supposed to be lived and not spectated. I can’t cram myself into one little box or career goal at this point. So, I’m enjoying everything and trying my hand at new skills and experiences overall.

And this honestly makes me feel happy. I wake up every day with a sense of adventure of, “What project will I do next?” ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

So… that’s what I’ve been up to lately, living a “wild” adventure, working on many different projects, and enjoying every waking moment in writing, coding, and studying science.

I have one life lesson that I’ve learned thus far, that I will share with the rest of the class – It doesn’t matter what others may think about my odd choices in life. What matters more is that I’m happy, healthy, and content within my life. And I’m SO AM!

I shall never let anyone try to dictate to me how I should live my own life, what I should follow or not follow, what should be my focus or not. As long as I’m not harming anyone or myself, I will try out everything that comes across my path and make up my own mind of what gets to stay in my life or not stay.

And yes, I will make mistakes but they will be my own mistakes, not ones caused by following someone else’s script. I will discover my own ways and habits, to not be indoctrinated into other people’s ways or habits without question. And most of all, I will live the way I always wanted to live, as Dani.

I think this what growing up and being an adult is all about. ^_^

Anyway… here’s a health update – I’ve been cigarette free for seventy-four days and counting! Huzzah! ^o^/

Picture: blue haired goth girl.

Alright, now I shall bugger off and get back to my scripts and science educations. Today’s song is: OMFG – Pancakes. Be excellent to each other, my wonderful readers, and thanks for reading as always! ^_^v

-D

Positivity In 2017!

Picture: Blue haired anime guy reading book.I know it’s been a while since I’ve added a post to this blog. I’m determined to not allow this blog meant for positivity to be swayed with the negative political climate of my country right now. Thus, I haven’t been inspired to write or add anything lately.

However, I’d like to remind myself yet again the purpose of why I created this blog. Three years ago, I was diagnosed with an eye disease named Keratoconus, which was highly overwhelming to me at the time, with very little answers as to what to do about it. I decided to create this blog to find positivity in my life, in spite of the diagnosis, to leave myself notes of encouragement and to put into perspective of the good things in my life versus the struggles of my eye disease. For the most part, my blog was very helpful to me to keep my spirits up. ^_^

Over the many months of writing this blog, my eyesight had gotten so bad that my writing and reading skills suffered greatly and I relied on a screen reader just to decipher my email messages from friends and family, to carry on with my blogging and reading the blogs of others. And yet, I was determined to stay positive and continue to write uplifting notes to myself via this blog. Thankfully, I was granted an option for my eye troubles, and I now experience excellent sight in my left eye due to a corneal transplant.

I was amazed and flattered that others liked and subscribed to my ramblings. I’m still amazed by that! I’m just a random woman with an eye disease on the planet and honestly didn’t set out to have readers or to meet the acquaintances that I have through this blog.

Anyway, I could use my platform to rant and rave about political nonsense, the negative of what is happening in my country today, but I don’t want to. So, I won’t. Instead, I will carry on with positive and hopeful notes to myself, reminders that even if the world burns around me, I’m going to be alright and persevere. So, that translates to a few posts in the coming years, however, it will also mean that my posts here will be more positive than negative I think. And that’s exactly what I want for this blog.

So, here’s a little story of what is positive for me thus far in 2017! ^o^/

I’m still struggling to stay quit with my smoking addiction, but I am not giving up on quitting cigarettes by far. I’ve made it to a month and three weeks smoke-free, before my last slip, so the clock has been reset and I’ve currently been five days smoke-free. I hope to make it to the month and three weeks mark again and then push forward to staying quit further than that. Wish me luck! ^_-

Picture: Shy anime girl.

The biggest happy story of 2017 is that I have managed to make a new best friend. I don’t want to put him on the spot so I won’t mention his name here, but I began chatting with him in June of 2016, almost a year ago. We don’t always see eye to eye, we debate sometimes, yet we hold a core respect for each other and care about each other’s well-being in general. It’s been a learning experience for me that it’s possible to have a close friendship and mutual respect for one another, in spite of differences in religious beliefs, politics, race, gender, sexuality, and other social views. For example, I’m Pro-Choice and he’s Pro-Life.

He has been the most caring, thoughtful, and encouraging friend I ever had in my entire life, if I’m to be honest and upfront about it. I think it’s because we both tend to focus more on what we have in common (and there are a plethora of things that we do have in common) rather than to focus on the few arbitrarily traits or ideas that we don’t have in common. So, there’s that. ^_^

I’m uncertain on how long this friendship may last, as my friendships tend not to last with others in general, but I am happy all the same that it did occur and I’ve learned so much more about true friendship from it. Our relationship has set a new set of positive expectations for what I want in a friendship with others and what I should be willing to give in return – tolerance and respect, for such positive friendships.

In other words, I’ve learned that disagreements and differences in views do not make or break a friendship. What matters the most is mutual respect for one another and each person trying their best to understand the other’s point of view or feelings. It doesn’t mean that I have to agree with the other, it means giving that person the respect to have their view or feelings, without calling them names or suggesting that they are insane or stupid for having them.

Being “right” or “winning” a debate is not more important than having a good relationship with another person. Winning is shallow at best, if I find that I’m alone with no one to celebrate such a victory with, then what have I really won? Absolutely nothing. Sometimes, it’s best to “agree to disagree” and leave the topic alone. My friend and I often have respectful debates and then move on the things that we both can agree on and cherish, like the fact that Jacksepticeye is the most boss YouTuber ever! ^w^

By all means, feel free to disagree with that last bit and substitute it for your favorite YouTuber, show, or music artist! It’s just a fandom that my best friend and I share, is all. Heehee!

Picture: Anime friendship.

Anyway, I shall end my rambling here, to get back to chatting with my new friend about anime, YouTubers, science, music, pets, and kickass movies like “John Wick”. And thanks to the new readers who’ve decided lately to subscribe to my ramblings. I do appreciate it! I’m honestly a little confused as to why anyone would want to subscribe to my rambles, but it’s awesome, all the same! ^o^/

Today’s song of the day: Darren Styles & Gammer – Feel Like This.

Thanks for reading as always, dear readers. Until next time, take care of yourselves and be excellent to each other. ^o^v

-D

New Perspectives For 2017!

Picture: Anime girl with stars and butterflies.It’s a new year and I want to share a bit about my goals, health, and perspectives for 2017. I’m very happy with my life at this moment in time, however, there’s always room for more improvements and many other projects to try! ^o^/

First, let me update a bit about my issue with Keratoconus. I had stayed silent about it for months, mainly because people were confusing this blog’s main purpose to be a support group for those with the eye disease. It is NOT, it is my personal blog about my quest for achieving happiness in my life, in spite of having the eye disease. The main reason why I write this blog is to blabber about my goal in finding happiness and not linger too much on the hardships of living with Keratoconus.

OR some readers were using my personal story as the “cure” for their own disease, which disturbed me greatly because every case is different! What worked for me may not work for you. Again, I don’t want readers to take in my positive results and then storm the offices of their nearest ophthalmologist demanding a corneal transplant! It’s a highly invasive procedure and is performed for very severe stages of the disease, which was my case in early 2016.

I highly recommend that a person suffering from the disease seek out a direct specialist in the disease. Not all ophthalmologists are specialists or hold knowledge about every option for treating Keratoconus.  So, by all means, DO ask your doctor directly in what he or she specializes in!

Your personal case with Keratoconus may be wholly different from mine, as there are different stages of the disease and there’s no such thing as one treatment to cure all. In fact, there isn’t a cure for Keratoconus at this point in time, these treatments and procedures are just a temporary fix, to grant a bit of eyesight to those who are greatly visually impaired until an actual cure can be found!

That said… My eye specialist/surgeon met with me at Mayo Clinic, we talked for a long while and weighed my options, and we decided together that corneal transplant for my left eye was my best bet above any other procedure. And the choice has been a complete success for my particular case! ^_^

Why just my left eye? Well, the procedure cost a bit over $25,000 USD and my health insurance barely agreed to pay for that, including the separate costs for post-op visits to Mayo. I am not a famous writer, scientist, or video game developer yet, so I’m unable to purchase a corneal transplant for my right eye on my own. However, I’m greatly appreciative of my left eye, and I’m not complaining one bit!

Three times so far, I’ve had to upgrade the prescription of my glasses, because my eye has improved constantly over the months. I was afraid, each time, that the transplant no longer worked for me as my vision became a lot blurred again, not to the point of what it once was but I feared that my vision was regressing.  Instead, my doctor discovered that my current eyeglass prescription was just too strong for my eye and I needed a lower prescription. Whew! ;^_^>

For this reason, Dr. Maguire has insisted that the stitches around my transplant shall remain in place for a few months yet, as removing them too soon may cause some issues. The stitches look like this and no it’s not a photo of my actual eye – I’m too shy! Eye Stitches. I don’t feel them and they don’t bother me, so I don’t have a problem with waiting to have them removed.

I have another appointment to Mayo sometime this month, perhaps the stitches will be removed then or maybe I’ll gain yet another new eyeglass prescription. It’s a little annoying, making the trips back and forth to the local mall for new eyeglasses, however, it’s so very awesome that my eye is still improving for the better post-surgery! In the meanwhile, I’ve caught myself working for an hour online, before I’ve realized that I haven’t put on my glasses yet that morning.

My eyesight in my left eye has so much improved that I feel like my eye disease is not a huge weight on my shoulders right now, which frees up a lot of room for me to focus (pun attended!) on other things within my life’s journey.

I’m currently studying the science of genetics and chemistry, which I find super interesting, as much as my love of physics. And recently, my friend mentioned his love for philosophy, so I’ve been enjoying Hank Green’s Crash Course – Philosophy and learning a lot more about the subject than I had before. I learned that my personal philosophical view is called “Rule Utilitarianism” and bananas are now called “Chom Choms”.

Picture: Crash Course Chom ChomsThe second part is a bit of an inside joke, for those following the course. ^w^

As for writing, I still dabble in novels. However,  I did download the Unity Engine, as I will try my hand at coding/writing more advanced video games beyond the RPG Maker scene. That is… if I can manage to pry myself away from The Sims 4 long enough to actually open the Unity program to see what’s what. Heehee!

Socially and mentally, I’m working on my issues in therapy, concerning difficulties in socializing with others, social anxiety, and PTSD. I did hit a spike of depression during November 2016 (It was a rough year for a lot of people…), but now the black dog has been settled again. I enjoyed my Christmas with my sister, roommate, and a new friend.

I am looking forward to this New Year, with so many new paths for me to travel and discover ahead of me. Here’s a song for you: “Shona” by Jake Chudnow. Thanks for reading, dear reader, as always! Happy New Year! ^o^/

-D

On A Personal Note

Picture: Blue haired anime girl with flowers.Okay, the US elections are over and here’s my honest response to it all. Take it or leave it, the choice is yours and that’s what makes America great, I believe. ^_^v

I am a proud minority, bisexual, female American. I was born in this country, as many of the generations of my family before me. My core beliefs are that everyone has the right to believe in whatever they want to and be whomever they are, as an inalienable right as a human being on this planet, no matter if I may disagree  or not. Any idea, behavior, law, whathaveyou that would seek to take away a person’s respect, freedom, and dignity I cannot and will not abide by. Period.

Therefore I will never follow any such leader of or for unjust ideas that are an affront to my core beliefs. I have never done so in my entire life and I’m not going to start to now, no matter what consequences I may have to face in my battle for my freedoms. And as an American, I am afforded that right to keep, fight for, and protect my core beliefs, as this is what makes this country great. No? We all have that right or should.

That said, I will continue my long-time goal of seeking knowledge, peace, and happiness in my life. I will continue to speak up for everyone that I care about and myself . I will continue to live my life in the way I’m truly am, without excuse or apology, without buckling to intimidation nor hateful tactics or speech.

Am I afraid? Yes, my heart is racing even as I write this. But that’s okay. Will I continue to care for people in spite of their race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, or political affiliation, as I have done so before this whole political circus came about? Of course! Will I persevere in my life and move forward? You betcha, I will. ^o^/

To everyone who’s reading this, no matter who you are or who you voted for: I love you and I hope for the very best in your life. Always! Hugs! (> ^_^ )>

For those who are afraid right now, please keep you head held high and hang in there! I totally understand how you feel, I’m right there with you. But, we’re going to be okay! And… here’s a nice song for you: Seven Lions & Echos – Cold Skin. (っ´▽`)っ♥ ❤

With much love,

– Danielle Sara Williams

Surgery And Writer’s Block

Picture: Cowboy Bebop - Radical Edward Smile.Hey there, readers! ^_^

I know it’s been a long while since my last post, so I wanted to explain a bit about what’s happening currently in my life. Just so no one thinks that I’m dead or abandoning this blog! =p

On Friday, August 19th, I went in for surgery to remove fibroid tumors from my abdomen. Don’t worry, the tumors aren’t cancerous! Last year, these tumors were the size of a fist each, but then quickly grew a lot bigger over this year, which caused me a lot of terrible pain. It was just a smart idea to get them removed now, instead of allowing them to keep growing and suffering in unnecessary pain, until the inevitable emergency surgery to remove them anyway.

My surgeon removed several doorknobs sized tumors and one humongous tumor that was the size of a small basketball, weighing 3.3 pounds (or 1.4kg). To remove the larger tumor, a C-section type procedure was done (an incision 19 inches across my stomach) and I am still recovering from surgery, with a prescription of Percocet that I can’t wait to start weening off. I’m often “tripping balls” on this medication, as the kids would say, so I’d like nothing more to be rid of the pain meds and return back to my usual level of insanity, thank you. ^w^

So, that’s just one reason for my lack of blogging lately.

The other reason is, that I am suffering a bit of writer’s block at the moment. Not just for blogging, but I haven’t been able to continue a novel or another RPG Maker game these past few weeks. Writer’s block is nothing new to me, it does happen from time to time, and I’m not worried. I will continue to play video games, watch anime, chat with good friends, and go about my daily chores (or recovery from surgery) until something has knocked loose inside of my creative mind.

As for the fan RPG Maker game that I had created some many weeks back, for the YouTuber named Wade (aka: LordMinion777), my sister was awesome enough to signal-boost the game on her Tumblr account and Wade did notice and reblogged it. However, I wasn’t the only fan to come up with the idea of making a fan game for him that month, so Wade has promised to play every game in the order he has received them. He has finished one fan game and it’s sequel, so perhaps my game will be next? I don’t know. o_O

I’m not sure yet if I’ll write a whole new post here, linking directly to the videos of him playing my game or if I’ll simply update this post with a direct link later. To be continued…

Anyhoo, I’m just jazzed that my game was noticed at all and that the few fans who’ve played it have given me very positive reviews thus far. Yay! ^o^/

If you’re interested in checking out the game or learning more details on why I had created it, the Dropbox link and more blabber is located here: Writing Video Games: Pt 2!.

Picture: Hatsune Miku nurse.Back to the business of my health (sorry for flipping through topics like this! My mind is so muddled right now…), besides the fibroids and eye disease, I’m in pretty excellent shape! I don’t suffer from diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, heart disease, nor any other health issues. The removal of the tumors is hopefully my last health issue for a very long while. And I am highly motivated to quit smoking cigarettes as well.

Even though my lungs are also very healthy, in spite of the fact that I’ve been a smoker for over fourteen years, I am aware that I’m just playing a game of Russian Roulette and it’s only a matter of time before I’m told that I have a severe lung issue or lung cancer. In my quest for happiness, my health is very much a part of that. I have managed to go from a pack a day smoker to a four cigs per day smoker, which is good, but not exactly “quit” status.

After I am done removing the last few stress-inducing people from my life, I will consider the help of a Cessation Therapist. ^_^

In the meanwhile, I’ve been experiencing a lot of happiness in my life since spring of this year, just on-going awesome events after another. I love my town and Minnesotan lifestyle to bits! And I feel very inspired and hopeful for my future. I’m taking more healthier risks, I make reasonable and obtainable goals. I’ve found achievement and success in many of the goals I’ve set thus far. So, my journey is going very well and I’m honestly content with the direction I’m heading in.

Thanks for reading, as always! And I wish you all the best in your journeys! Have a wonderful weekend, everyone! ^_^/

-D

Oops! I almost forgot the song for today! Heehee! Please enjoy:  Rihanna – Sledgehammer. I was introduced to this song, at the local cinema, two weekends ago! The movie, Star Trek Beyond, is AWESOME and I do recommend it! ^_^v

This Is NOT A Keratoconus Blog!

Picture: anime girl with flower.Hey there, everyone! ^_^/

I thought I should take a moment to explain to all of my new and old followers to this blog, that this is not a support blog for those suffering with the eye disease named Keratoconus. For the third time, I had someone approach me with this idea about the purpose of my blog.

I do understand the confusion for this mistake, as several of my posts have been re-blogged on a cool support site/blog for those suffering with the disease: KeratoconusGB. This particular group is also available on Twitter and Facebook. I’m not sure why they’ve decided to re-blog my posts on the subject, I am flattered, however I’m not in any partnership with that site or groups.

I’m a blogger who happens to suffer with Keratoconus and my blog is about my quest to find happiness in my life in spite of being diagnosed with the disease. And it’s not a blog mainly about my disease either, as there are many other hurdles that I must overcome in my life to reach my goal of happiness.

I have posted/ranted about my particular case of Keratoconus, because this blog is my personal space to rant about any situation I’m going through within my life – good or bad. For a long time, my disease was a main focus, but after my keratoplasty surgery it hasn’t been a focus for me to rant about for a long while.

My surgery was a huge success, I am able to see very well with my left eye, and I’ve said farewell to my screen reader months ago. The surgery was such a great success that the Mayo Clinic asked that I release my case for further study among their experts and students, which I didn’t hesitate to sign those consent forms. And it was so cool that I was able to read and sign directly on the line of the forms, something that I wasn’t able to do before the surgery. Anyway, if my case has a tiny chance of improving future procedures for others, I’m all for it! ^_^v

However… I cannot and will not suggest procedures for anyone with this disease. I am NOT a doctor or expert, I do not play one on TV nor on the internet. Every case of Keratoconus is different for different people, there are different stages of the disease, so it would be foolish and negligent for me to suggest any one procedure to someone else.

What I DO suggest is that anyone who is suffering with the disease to seek expert help IMMEDIATELY. Do not wait around, by any circumstances, because if the disease is left untreated it WILL become a lot worse and your options for treating it dwindles. I’m speaking from experience on that, I waited far too long and my only option for my case was keratoplasty, which is a very invasive procedure. I missed my window of opportunity for Intact corneal surgery, which would have been a lot easier on me.

And I do suggest that a person with Keratoconus search directly for those who have many years of experience in the disease and treating Keratoconus. Not every ophthalmologist specializes in the disease, therefore they may know very little on how to treat your case or be unaware of all of the available procedures for you. The Mayo Clinic often have direct experts in the disease, if you have one located near you and they accept your insurance, it doesn’t hurt to go check it out. For any other place, I’m unsure and unable to give sound advice about that.

If your ophthalmologist claims that he or she have many years of experience in treating Keratoconus (my eye specialist has 20+ years, by the way) , then you’re probably in good hands. Remember, NEVER settle for the conclusion of “There’s nothing we can do for you, until the disease becomes worse.” That’s not true! There’s plenty of options out there for those in the beginning/mild stages of the disease and an expert wouldn’t tell you to wait.

And beware of those who would tell you that any one procedure would “cure” your disease, as there is no real cure for it at this point. With these procedures, you’re just buying time for sight, until there is one. I bought myself 10+ years for my left eye and I’m so very grateful for that!

This is a very terrible and heartbreaking disease. I understand the desperation of wanting to correct it and to find some kind of hope/support for it. However, I’m kind of useless in that regard, I can only offer the above suggestions. You may do better in joining the KeratoconusGB groups on Twitter and Facebook, with many other members going through similar issues, for actual emotional support.

Picture: anime girl resting on bench.This is not a blog about the disease however, I created it after the shock and devastation of my diagnosis two years ago. I created this blog as a hub for me to express my frustrations, not only about my personal eye troubles, but about other situations within my life. Case in point, I have written and posted 120 entries here, and out of them only fourteen posts are about or briefly mentions about my eye disease (including this post).

I share this blog online for my pals and family to take a gander at. I had NO clue that anyone else would read and follow it, although I am flattered and don’t mind it. I’m appreciative of everyone who likes, comment, or follow my blog of scribbles. Thank you very much! Hugs! (っ´▽`)っ

I can’t fathom what my future will bring for me and that’s scary sometimes, the not knowing part. However, whatever happens, I shall blog it here as usual.

Thanks for reading, as always! And today’s song is: Wind by Akeboshi. ^_^v

-D